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Suicide Is Painless (Theme from M*A*S*H) (C Major)
Artist: Mandel, Johnny    Genre: Folk    Tempo: Moderate    Strum Pattern: Island: D – D – D U D U    Roman Numerals: I, I7, II, ii, IV, v    Instrument: Guitar - Standard Tuning [E,A,D,G,B,E]   
Song Notes:  
Written by Johnny Mandel (music) and Michael Altman (lyrics) for the film M*A*S*H, 1970.

From Wikipedia: Director Robert Altman intentionally needed a nonsensical and shallow song for a specific scene in the 1970 film M*A*S*H. Altman attempted to write the lyrics himself, but, upon finding it too difficult for his "45-year-old brain" to write something "stupid" enough, he gave the task to his 15-year-old-son Michael, who reportedly wrote the lyrics in five minutes. In the scene, the unit's dentist (nicknamed "Painless"), thinks about suicide due to a perceived bout of impotence. His fellow soldiers throw him a satirical "Last Supper" and play the song to comfort him and show him how much he will be missed.

I can remove if the subject isn't suitable for public audiences, but the song is a classic, so I wanted to add it.

Recording @ YouTube
Entered by: Cheryl Leon Levy   
▼ Show transpose, instrument, and other display options ▼
C
(C,E,G)
x,3,2,0,1,0
- C E G C E
C7
(C,E,G,B♭)
- C E B♭ C E
D
(D,F♯,A)
- - D A D F♯
Dm
(D,F,A)
- - D A D F
F
(F,A,C)
F C F A C F
Gm
(G,B♭,D)
- - D B♭ D G


Verse 1:
Just strum 2 beats when you come to each "[Dm]//". Everything else gets the normal 4 beats.
{C} Through [GmMinor Chord (U,m3,P5)
on the Perfect Fifth] early morning		 [C7Dominant 7th Chord (U,M3,P5,m7)
on the Perfect Unison] fog I see		 [FMajor Chord (U,M3,P5)
on the Perfect Fourth] visions of the		 [DmMinor Chord (U,m3,P5)
on the Major Second] things to be
The [GmMinor Chord (U,m3,P5)
on the Perfect Fifth] pains that are with–		 [CMajor Chord (U,M3,P5)
on the Perfect Unison] –held for me
I [FMajor Chord (U,M3,P5)
on the Perfect Fourth] realize and		 [DmMinor Chord (U,m3,P5)
on the Major Second] // I can		 [DMajor Chord (U,M3,P5)
on the Major Second] see–ee–ee

Chorus 1:
[DMajor Chord (U,M3,P5)
on the Major Second] ... That		 [GmMinor Chord (U,m3,P5)
on the Perfect Fifth] suicide is		 [C7Dominant 7th Chord (U,M3,P5,m7)
on the Perfect Unison] painless;		 [FMajor Chord (U,M3,P5)
on the Perfect Fourth] It brings on many		 [DmMinor Chord (U,m3,P5)
on the Major Second] changes
And [GmMinor Chord (U,m3,P5)
on the Perfect Fifth] I can take or		 [CMajor Chord (U,M3,P5)
on the Perfect Unison] leave it if I		 [DmMinor Chord (U,m3,P5)
on the Major Second] please		 [DMajor Chord (U,M3,P5)
on the Major Second]

Verse 2:
The [GmMinor Chord (U,m3,P5)
on the Perfect Fifth] game of life is		 [C7Dominant 7th Chord (U,M3,P5,m7)
on the Perfect Unison] hard to play;		 [FMajor Chord (U,M3,P5)
on the Perfect Fourth] I’m gonna lose it		 [DmMinor Chord (U,m3,P5)
on the Major Second] anyway
The [GmMinor Chord (U,m3,P5)
on the Perfect Fifth] losing card I’ll		 [CMajor Chord (U,M3,P5)
on the Perfect Unison] someday lay
So [FMajor Chord (U,M3,P5)
on the Perfect Fourth] this is all I		 [DmMinor Chord (U,m3,P5)
on the Major Second] // have to		 [DMajor Chord (U,M3,P5)
on the Major Second] say–y–y

Chorus 2:
[DMajor Chord (U,M3,P5)
on the Major Second] ...		 [GmMinor Chord (U,m3,P5)
on the Perfect Fifth] Suicide is		 [C7Dominant 7th Chord (U,M3,P5,m7)
on the Perfect Unison] painless;		 [FMajor Chord (U,M3,P5)
on the Perfect Fourth] It brings on many		 [DmMinor Chord (U,m3,P5)
on the Major Second] changes
And [GmMinor Chord (U,m3,P5)
on the Perfect Fifth] I can take or		 [CMajor Chord (U,M3,P5)
on the Perfect Unison] leave it if I		 [DmMinor Chord (U,m3,P5)
on the Major Second] please		 [DMajor Chord (U,M3,P5)
on the Major Second]

Verse 3:
The [GmMinor Chord (U,m3,P5)
on the Perfect Fifth] sword of time will		 [C7Dominant 7th Chord (U,M3,P5,m7)
on the Perfect Unison] pierce our skin;		 [FMajor Chord (U,M3,P5)
on the Perfect Fourth] It doesn’t hurt when		 [DmMinor Chord (U,m3,P5)
on the Major Second] it begins
But [GmMinor Chord (U,m3,P5)
on the Perfect Fifth] as it works its		 [CMajor Chord (U,M3,P5)
on the Perfect Unison] way on in
The [FMajor Chord (U,M3,P5)
on the Perfect Fourth] pain grows stronger,		 [DmMinor Chord (U,m3,P5)
on the Major Second] // watch it		 [DMajor Chord (U,M3,P5)
on the Major Second] gri–i–in

Chorus 3:
[DMajor Chord (U,M3,P5)
on the Major Second] ...		 [GmMinor Chord (U,m3,P5)
on the Perfect Fifth] Suicide is		 [C7Dominant 7th Chord (U,M3,P5,m7)
on the Perfect Unison] painless;		 [FMajor Chord (U,M3,P5)
on the Perfect Fourth] It brings on many		 [DmMinor Chord (U,m3,P5)
on the Major Second] changes
And [GmMinor Chord (U,m3,P5)
on the Perfect Fifth] I can take or		 [CMajor Chord (U,M3,P5)
on the Perfect Unison] leave it if I		 [DmMinor Chord (U,m3,P5)
on the Major Second] please		 [DMajor Chord (U,M3,P5)
on the Major Second]

Verse 4:
A [GmMinor Chord (U,m3,P5)
on the Perfect Fifth] brave man once re–		 [C7Dominant 7th Chord (U,M3,P5,m7)
on the Perfect Unison] –quested me to		 [FMajor Chord (U,M3,P5)
on the Perfect Fourth] answer questions		 [DmMinor Chord (U,m3,P5)
on the Major Second] that are key
“Is [GmMinor Chord (U,m3,P5)
on the Perfect Fifth] it to be or		 [CMajor Chord (U,M3,P5)
on the Perfect Unison] not to be?”
And [FMajor Chord (U,M3,P5)
on the Perfect Fourth] I replied, “Oh,		 [DmMinor Chord (U,m3,P5)
on the Major Second] // why ask		 [DMajor Chord (U,M3,P5)
on the Major Second] me–e–e?”

Chorus 4:
[DMajor Chord (U,M3,P5)
on the Major Second] ...		 [GmMinor Chord (U,m3,P5)
on the Perfect Fifth] Suicide is		 [C7Dominant 7th Chord (U,M3,P5,m7)
on the Perfect Unison] painless;		 [FMajor Chord (U,M3,P5)
on the Perfect Fourth] It brings on many		 [DmMinor Chord (U,m3,P5)
on the Major Second] changes
And [GmMinor Chord (U,m3,P5)
on the Perfect Fifth] I can take or		 [CMajor Chord (U,M3,P5)
on the Perfect Unison] leave it if I		 [DmMinor Chord (U,m3,P5)
on the Major Second] please		 [DMajor Chord (U,M3,P5)
on the Major Second]

Outro, slow down:
And [GmMinor Chord (U,m3,P5)
on the Perfect Fifth] (D – – –) you can (D – – –) do the		 [CMajor Chord (U,M3,P5)
on the Perfect Unison] (D – – –) same thing (D – – –) if you
one last strum, let it ring:
[DmMinor Chord (U,m3,P5)
on the Major Second] Plee–ee–ease
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